Beaches & Lakes

Many of my most favorite memories of companionship shared with Ranger have happened at a lake or beach somewhere. Because we traveled so much in our time together, we have had the joy of water together all along the Eastern Seaboard.

One does not associate beach and sandy shores with the island of Manhattan, but we lived in Washington Heights when Ranger first came to me - and up in those parts we have what would be considered a grand beach on the island of Manhattan. This beach is located under and south of the George Washington Bridge. It's a patch of sand maybe half the size of a tennis court, and Ranger and I would often go down there. Ranger had an ambiguous relationship with the water. He really loved the water and always wanted to do anything that had to do with water, lakes and ocean and baths and showers - but in all the years that Ranger was alive, he never swam and resisted learning how to swim. So to that end, while he loved water, he was also fearful of water...

When we lived in WaHi, Ranger would always wade out into the Hudson River, stand up to where the water was about shoulder high and he would just cast his gaze out to the horizon, standing there, and just looking. Sometimes he would look at another dog who was actually swimming in the Hudson River and just stare at the dog zipping around usually in pursuit of a stick or a ball. Ranger also used to love to pad at the water as it lapped onto the shore, using his feet to try to catch the incoming waves - he seemed to take great delight in this activity. When Ranger would tire of being in the water, he would chase sticks or balls that I threw for him on the sandy shores. Sometimes I would take Ranger out on Long Island and try to find a beach that he could run on - I would do this in the Winter, but let me tell you finding a beach that allows a dog in any season on Long Island is more elusive than finding sunken treasure.

When we left the isle of Manhattan we moved due West, across the Hudson to Jersey City. There wasn't much water activity for Ranger during our 3 years there, except when we'd go on hikes to parks in the area or further north in the state or New York.

We left Jersey in late summer of 2016 - our destination was: road life. For the next 9 months we lived in truck stops, campsites, the truck, airBnBs, cabins, carriage houses, tiny houses and my Mom's home. I was working the whole time, remotely. During this peripatetic period, Ranger and I enjoyed water and shores in Sebago Lake, ME, the Lake Ontario shore while staying in Altmar, NY, creeks galore when we stayed in Saratoga Springs, NY, and most memorable of all were all the days spent at what I affectionately coined, 'Dog Beach' near my Mom's place in Indian Harbour Beach FL. Ranger loved Dog Beach so much, we would go there nearly every day for the 3 months we stayed in Florida. It was our meditation spot, our fun spot, and later it would be a place where Ranger gave me great soothing when my StepFather was passing away. Dog Beach is a holy place in my mind, and heart.

We gave up peripatetic living to anchor down near Saratoga Springs, NY in a place named Malta - it would be our home for nearly 5 years. During our time in the Adirondack Region, Ranger and I lived canoe and lake life, completely. I bought a 45lb 17ft aluminum canoe, which was lovingly named, the Ranger Glide - and Ranger and I spent every good weekend in that canoe on lakes all through the region. Ranger loved being out on that canoe. Some of the best times were when Ranger, my boyfriend and I were all on the canoe together. Sometimes we would fish, or eat lunch out on the water, or we'd go exploring some foreign lake shore or mid-lake island, or even try to traverse narrow & shallow water ways from Round Lake all the way to the Hudson River! Being on the canoe with our Ranger was about as close to a state of total bliss as a human could get. When we weren't on the canoe, Ranger and I would go to Saratoga Spa Park and walk around the park, he most loved being near the water's edge at the stream that runs through the park. That stream has a very special quality to it, and Ranger would often enjoy walking across the stream and examining different specimens in the stream's water ecosystem. Ranger and I journeyed to the Adirondack High Peaks several times, we were limited in the hikes we could do because of Ranger's arthritis, but he loved being deep in nature and he enjoyed the many streams we came across in the Adirondack Mountains. Near our home, we had a white pine forest preserve, named Luther Forest. It hosted about 100 acres of light trails, and there was a creek in that forest that Ranger always loved to walk in. He had the biggest look of delight on his face whenever he would get into that creek. After he crossed over to the other side, I visited the paths in Luther Forest and went to his favorite creek spot - I was laced with a feeling of great joy, peace and also an immeasurable and indescribable grief because I was walking these trails we so enjoyed without him.

While we lived in northern NY, my boyfriend lived in Queens, NY - so there would always be lots of trips south. Ranger would always perk up in the cab of the truck from his slumber during the trip down just when we went over the Throgs Neck Bridge - he would take in whiffs of the sea air coming through the truck windows with whole-bodied enthusiasm. During those trips, my boyfriend and I would often take Ranger to a beach in Oyster Bay. We would take him there offseason, and be on the look out for any police. These were magical times, the visitations at the Oyster Bay Stelhi Beach. Ranger loved The Long Island Sound, it was more gentle than the ocean, and he could go further out in it and not get knocked over by a wave. One time we visited, and Ranger because of his arthritis was no longer a running dog, but he was so lifted up by the sea breeze and so excited to be with my boyfriend again, that he actually ran a short distance to him down the beach - and Ranger had not run in years. I will never forget that moment, he was an old dog at this point, but in those few moments Ranger returned to the exuberance of his youth...

Not all moments at the water were pure bliss though, Ranger was annoyed at me a few times because I tried to get him to swim. One time was out in a beach somewhere far East on Long Island. My boyfriend and I found this beach in summer that we could actually take Ranger out on, like it was a legit dog beach (sunken treasure, found!) I decided that in Ranger's old age, that he really needed to finally learn how to swim. So with his orange life vest on, I pulled him gently out into the deeper parts - although he was floating and without any effort would have stayed well above the water's surface, Ranger's whites of his eyes were showing, and his legs were furiously dog paddling beneath him. He did not like this, and when I pulled him close to me to hold him and reassure him he dug his nails deep into my flesh. He could not have run faster to the shore, to my boyfriend, and away from me once his feet could feel the bottom of the sea shore on our way back in.

There was another time near Moreau Lake in the Adirondacks, when I had just finished a triathlon training swimming session in the lake that I decided that in addition to our post training hike, that I would also take Ranger into the lake to get him to swim. He was most annoyed about this attempt - I don't think I was actually able to get him out into the water, he just stayed on the shore barking at me, very loudly and very crossly. Each time I tried to cajole him into the water, his barking got more vociferous, he knew exactly what I was up to - so I didn't even try to lead him in by the strap on his life vest.

Once in Oyster Bay, Ranger thought I was going to try that 'swimming lesson' thing again. I guess he could see it in my eyes, and he pushed himself up against my boyfriend's side and just started barking while looking at him, pleading to him to not let Mommy try her swimming lesson crap again. I didn't.

Ranger was always very compliant about being lifted into the canoe though, I guess he knew the difference between being hoisted up to go into the dry canoe, as opposed to being hoisted out to receive a swimming lesson. There was only one time that things didn't go as planned on a canoe trip. We were trying to get out on Saratoga Lake. I'm not sure what went wrong - but I capsized the canoe at the very start of our trip. With a canoe, once the water comes in, the water quickly overtakes the canoe and submerges it. I can vividly remember from that summer excursion, seeing Ranger seated in front of me just going down into the water while sitting in the canoe. He was so calm and chill about the whole thing - once he was in the water he just hung out there in his life vest and waited for me to do something. It was one of those times when I couldn't decide whether to laugh or be anxious, Ranger was so calm - but I swear I could hear him inwardly saying, "I can't believe she capsized us." Once I righted the situation and the canoe, Ranger happily got back in the vessel with me and off we went rowing around Saratoga Lake, like nothing at all had happened. He was as happy as a clam, and probably enjoyed the coolness of his lake dip now that we were under the hot mountain sun. The lakes we canoed in were Round Lake, Lonely Lake, Saratoga Lake, Moreau Lake and Brant Lake.

Not all of my water experiences with Ranger were in the water. Sometimes we were on it. Up north, a popular thing to do is walk across the frozen lakes in the area. Some people ice fish on the lakes, ride their snowmobiles out on it, play hockey on it, takes their trucks out on it, and even once I saw a bunch of ice motorcyclists having races on the frozen lake. Ranger and I stuck to walking across lakes and ice fishing. Ranger had no fear about going out on the frozen lake, usually I'd be pretty cautious the first hundred feet or so, especially in the beginning of the season, but he'd scoot right out there and of course he had to mark the lake as his own - so the first order of business was creating a mini ice fishing hole by peeing on the lake. I never had a sense if Ranger 'got' that we were walking on frozen water, or if he knew these were the same bodies of water we had canoed through just a few months prior. But I always did sense that he knew this type of ground was different than ordinary ground, because he walked across these lakes with so much relish and delight. We walked out on Round Lake, Saratoga Lake and Moreau Lake. I think once we ventured out at Lake George, but didn't go too far. We ice fished at Round Lake, and Ranger lay on his sleeping bag the whole excursion, looking at my boyfriend and I with mild interest, while we made the hole with the auger and then spent the rest of the time drinking beer and trying to catch fish.

Ranger and I went back down to Florida in November of 2017, my StepFather was very ill. A few nights before my StepFather did pass from this life to the next - Ranger and I were at Dog Beach together. Ranger was lying next to me and he lifted his front leg up, put his paw on my leg and looked back at me. I will never forget this beautiful gesture of knowing and comfort from Ranger. He knew what was going on with my StepFather, and Ranger supported me the whole time. Usually Ranger was not keen on being left on his own in the truck - he would start barking, once I left him in his cab seat. On the last night of my StepFather's life, I brought Ranger with me to the hospice house located in an overgrown interior section of Florida that was as close to a feeling of the Everglades as I had ever experienced. I needed to leave Ranger in the truck during the night as I spent the night next to my StepFather in a chair. I talked to Ranger, looking him right in the eye, he knew what this was about - as I closed the truck cab door leaving him in the air conditioned vehicle, all was silent. Ranger didn't bark once that whole night. My StepFather's room was right near the truck, on the ground floor - I could really feel how Ranger was with both my StepFather and I through that night.

It wasn't until Ranger crossed over that I noticed some pictures I had of Ranger standing on a rocky outcrop near the Hudson River. The river and rock in front of Ranger had some white powder on it. I had forgotten that Ranger was with me, when I let most of my former dog Booker's, and my former cat Cherie's ashes flow into the river. Ranger understands the cycle of life, he has been there with me in many letting go's and with me through incredible transformational periods in my life. He is my guide, both in life as well as in spirit.

It was February 22, 2020. We had driven to Norfolk, VA to throw my Grandmother a surprise birthday on her 100th birthday. We were on the beach in Norfolk, the day before her birthday and party. Ranger was excited to be at the shore, and that happiness showed even though he was hobbling some from his arthritis. As the Virginia sun started to set on this cold but sunny day, Ranger ran in a hobbling fashion up ahead of me, intent on inspecting some rock or stick. In that moment, I just knew, this would be our last beach time together in this world. I don't know how or why I had that feeling, but a few days later Ranger would have his first seizure out of the blue, and a week later would be diagnosed with a brain tumor.

One of the things I'm incredibly grateful for is getting to go canoeing with Ranger a couple more times before he left this world. We went to Brant Lake and had an amazing time exploring our 'Gilligan's Island'. We also caught 2 beautiful sunfish on Moreau Lake, and Ranger heartily approved of our fish catching efforts.

During the last few months of Ranger's life, we would go to Saratoga Lake often on my lunch break. He would walk when he could to the blanket I put near the water's edge, or I would carry him to it. There were times during this period where Ranger was visibly uncomfortable, but when we would get to the lake he would have a complete change of countenance. It was like the lake and water soothed his spirit and his body, he would become completely peaceful, and often go into his waterside 'meditation' that I had seen him do so many times while laying near a lake or the ocean.

These days we live near the Jersey Shore. I go to the shore about every week, I feel Ranger calling me there. I know in my heart that he likes it when I go to the beach, I have often felt him as I walked along the boardwalk or sat at the shore. This is not a time of year that people visit the beach, so it's largely empty. The wind is whipping hard, the ocean looks both glassy and angry with her worn beach-glass color and her whipped-cream-edged waves - the sand is blasting me as if I'm in a desert sand storm - air is frigid and the sky is a vast, eerily endless blue. Ranger is no longer lying at my side physically, but I know he's there with me.

I love you Ranger.